sometimes, i wonder if being the eldest daughter means carrying an invisible weight that no one else can quite see. on the surface, everything looks fine. i go about my day, i do what’s expected, i try to be dependable. but underneath, there’s this quiet exhaustion, this ache that comes from always feeling like i have to hold myself together for everyone else.

i’ve spent so much of my life being careful. careful with my words, careful with my choices, careful with how i live. not because i’m naturally cautious, but because i feel like i can’t afford to slip. others have already pushed boundaries, made decisions that shook our family in one way or another. and in the middle of it all, i decided (without anyone really asking me to) that i couldn’t add to that. that i had to be the one who stayed safe, who didn’t stir up more worry, who didn’t give anyone another reason to shake their head.

but what happens when “being safe” starts to feel like living half a life? what happens when the things i want (not even reckless things, just simple human wants) start to feel like luxuries i can’t touch? it’s frustrating to silence myself before i even begin, to measure every possibility against what others might say or think. i’ve trained myself to put their peace of mind before my own, and it’s exhausting in a way i can’t always explain.

the hardest part is the quietness of it. there’s no big confrontation, no one standing over me saying “don’t do this.” it’s just me, carrying these unspoken expectations in my chest, telling myself to stay in line, to be the steady one, the reliable one, the one who won’t disappoint. and in that silence, i feel myself shrinking, like i’m folding away parts of who i am just to keep up an image that maybe no one even asked me to hold in the first place.

i am proud of the sacrifices i’ve made for my family. i love them, and i know they love me. but i can’t deny this part of me that is aching for freedom. freedom to breathe without guilt. freedom to make decisions without the constant fear of what everyone will say. freedom to live a little messy, a little imperfect, without feeling like i’ve failed some invisible test.

i don’t want to keep pausing my life just to prove that i am the “good one.” i don’t want to keep hiding behind the role of the panganay, as if that’s all i am allowed to be. i am human, too. i have dreams, flaws, desires, and i want to be brave enough to choose them without apology.

tonight, i let myself write this down because maybe the first step is admitting it to myself: i am tired. i am frustrated. i am longing for a life that feels like mine, not one that’s constantly measured against other people’s approval.

and maybe, just maybe, it’s okay if i stop being the perfect one, and start being real instead.

it’s sunday and the day’s almost gone. i slept in, and then spent most of the afternoon just… thinking. i didn’t really do much, except work a little on some social media posts for our small businesses. part of me feels guilty for not being “productive,” but maybe i needed this.

i’ve been feeling overwhelmed lately. working from home has been something i prayed for for so long, and i’m grateful i get to do it now. but honestly, i’m still figuring it out. i love the freedom — that i can move at my own pace and take on part-time gigs — but i also hate how messy it feels. there are no clear lines between work and life. i’m literally working and sleeping in the same space, surrounded by the sari-sari store clutter. everything feels all over the place.

sometimes i wonder if what i need is a restart. i want to reset my routines, my finances, even my environment. moving out crosses my mind a lot — but then i worry if that’s even practical right now. i don’t know. maybe it’s too soon.

but maybe i don’t need to overhaul everything all at once. maybe it can start small. like clearing one corner of my space. organizing one drawer. maybe if i do enough of those small things, they’ll add up to something bigger.

i think about the people i work with in the us. one’s so young, already chasing multiple ventures like it’s second nature. another is in her 60s, still working because she loves it, and she doesn’t see herself stopping anytime soon. different ages, different lives, but they both care deeply about their families. it makes me think about what i really want, and the kind of life i hope to build too.

today was quiet. and maybe that’s what i needed. a pause. a reminder that it’s okay not to have it all figured out yet.

i still want a simpler, lighter life. and i believe i’ll get there — maybe not all at once, but slowly. one small step at a time.

i first shared this in facebook and facebook has always been a space where i’d share a favorite photo, promote something, or reshare a memory or two — but not like this. not in a journal kind of way. honestly, i get nervous sharing too much — especially when it feels a little vulnerable. but since it’s labor day, a day that honors the heart behind all kinds of work, it feels like the right time to share a few things that have been sitting with me.

lately, i’ve been stepping into spaces that once felt foreign — doing things i never imagined i’d have to do. things that ask me to be seen in ways i’m not used to.

for most of my career, i’ve stayed behind the scenes — happy in my little world of numbers and spreadsheets and month-end reports. i liked it there. i loved the structure and stillness of numbers. i used to think that was enough. that doing good work quietly would speak for itself.

but lately, things have changed. the season has called for more. i’ve had to stretch — to listen more closely, speak more openly, show up more fully. not just for myself, but for the team, for the mission, for the people we want to serve.

and honestly? it still feels a little weird. introducing myself as a co-founder? a coo? that used to feel too loud for someone like me — someone who never really saw herself as the “face” of anything. i used to prefer the quiet, behind-the-scenes kind of life. but i’ve realized that sometimes, being visible isn’t about ego. it’s about responsibility. it’s about standing behind the work you believe in.

so i’ve been putting myself out there — even if just a little. it still feels awkward sometimes (linkedin telling me someone viewed my profile? instant overthinking 😂), but i’m learning to welcome that discomfort. i get it now — this is part of what it means to grow something with intention.

i guess this season is teaching me that showing up can look different than i imagined. it’s not about being loud or performative. it’s about being present. being willing. being honest.

i’ve been listening more — to our team, to our clients, to the people we want to serve. what do they need? what matters to them? where are the gaps we can fill?

and in the midst of all the change, i found myself circling back to my why.

why this company was started. why we kept going, even when things got hard. why we care so much about doing things right — even when no one’s watching.

we’ve been working closely with nonprofit organizations over the years. and that’s not just a niche for me — it’s a calling. who would have thought i'd end up in nonprofit accounting? it wasn't even something i paid attention to in college. now i get to work with mission-driven organizations who are out there doing the real work: feeding, healing, advocating, protecting, educating. and i get to play a small part in helping them keep their finances in order so they can keep doing what they do best.

and we’re doing our best to keep this work going — not just for the clients we serve, but for the people behind the scenes, too. for our team, who have always given so much heart. for the students we welcome in, hoping to give them a space to learn and grow. we’re working toward something sustainable, something rooted in care.

so yeah. maybe this season is awkward and stretching and a little bit scary. maybe i still hesitate when i hit “post.” maybe i still overthink every time i show up online. but it’s also beautiful — because i know i’m not doing this just for me.

i’m doing it for the mission. for the people we serve. for the team i care deeply about. for the dream that’s bigger than me.

on this labor day, i’m holding space for the ones who quietly carry the weight of the work — the steady hands, the listening hearts, the behind-the-scenes souls. i see you. i’m with you. and i hope you’re proud of the work you do.

happy labor day to all the hardworking workers — especially those who don’t always raise their hands first, but still choose to show up anyway.  💻🌿☁️🚶‍♀️

and happy labor day to the incredible team i've had the privilege to work with. grateful for your heart, your effort, and the quiet strength you brought into everything. wherever life takes us, the work we shared will always mean something to me. 💙

——

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there are days when i feel like i'm holding the whole world on my shoulders. days when the weight of everything — responsibilities, expectations, dreams i haven't reached yet — feels almost too much to carry.

but somehow, i'm still here.

still trying.

still hoping that maybe, one day, all of this will mean something.

this is one of those days. and these are my notes from a tired, but still beating, heart.

lately, it feels like i’m carrying a weight i can’t put down. it’s heavy in ways that are hard to explain. being the breadwinner isn’t just about paying the bills. it’s waking up every day knowing that if i stop, everything else might fall apart too. it’s choosing to keep moving even when i’m tired, even when i feel like i’m losing pieces of myself along the way. it’s holding everything together when it feels like i’m falling apart a little more every day.

we started a small business because i wanted my mom to finally stop working in that toxic job. i couldn't watch her get drained like that anymore. we thought maybe the business could give us some peace. a softer life. a new start. and for a while, it felt like hope. when we moved here in the store, we had so much hope. we thought maybe it could help us. maybe this could be the start of something better. but living here blurred all the lines. it’s like i haven’t had any space to breathe. our home is the store. the store is our home. i’m always on. always available. and i feel like i’ve lost myself along the way. i don't know when i’m supposed to rest anymore. every moment is tied to the store. every space is about survival now.

most days, time feels like sand slipping through my fingers. i wake up and before i know it, it’s already 5pm. it’s like i blink and the day is gone. i hate how fast time moves when you’re exhausted. it’s frustrating — like no matter how hard i try, i’m still falling behind.

we stay open past midnight because that's when most customers come. we stretch ourselves, hoping for a little more income. but it feels like we are still not earning enough. still, i pay the rent. i pay the water and electricity bills. i pay the bills at home too. sometimes it feels like money just slips through my hands, no matter how hard i try to hold onto it. i’ve been working for seven years already. and yet, i don’t have enough savings. i don’t have enough investments. i still think twice before buying anything i want. i still feel trapped, like freedom is this faraway thing i can’t seem to catch.

what hurts even more is seeing my mom. she’s the one doing most of the work now. she wakes up early to cook for the carinderia. she stays up late, tending to the customers while i try to get some rest for my full-time job. she barely sleeps. she’s older now, but she keeps pushing herself. and it breaks my heart more than anything. she deserves to rest. she deserves to slow down. she shouldn’t have to work this hard anymore. and yet here we are.

sometimes, i wish my siblings could see how much i’m struggling. how much i’m trying. how much i want them to make better choices, so they won’t have to go through what i’m going through. but at the same time, i don’t want them to see how tired i am. i don’t want them to feel guilty or worried. i just want to protect them from this. it’s a strange kind of loneliness — wanting to be seen but also wanting to stay invisible.

when i look around, it’s hard not to notice how everyone else seems to be moving forward. friends are traveling, reaching milestones, building lives they’re proud of. and i’m still here — stuck, tired, surviving. i don’t even have the energy to see them anymore. sometimes it’s easier to stay away than to sit there feeling like the one who’s been left behind.

i don’t really like being this vulnerable. i don’t enjoy laying all this out like a confession. but let’s be real — i’m just human. and right now, this is my truth. i don’t have it all figured out. i’m tired, i’m doing my best, and sometimes, i break a little too.

i’m not writing this to complain. i’m just trying to be honest with myself. to finally say it out loud: i’m tired. i’m hurting. and i wish things were different. but even after admitting all that, i know tomorrow i’ll still get up and keep going. because that’s what i’ve learned to do. even when it’s hard. even when my heart feels like it’s carrying more than it should.

maybe one day, all of this will make sense. maybe one day, life will feel lighter, and all these hard days will add up to something beautiful. maybe one day, time won't feel like something i’m constantly losing — but something i finally get to live fully, freely, and without fear.

for now, i’m just holding on the best way i know how. and maybe, for today, that’s enough.

——

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so… it’s been a minute. or months, actually.

my last post was all about being buried in work and feeling completely burnt out. and that was true. i was drowning in deadlines, and life felt like one never-ending to-do list. honestly, i was just trying to survive the chaos.

but things have changed—kind of unexpectedly. the crazy workload slowed down (not by choice, let’s just say that), and suddenly i had something i hadn’t had in a long time: time. not just five-minute-break kind of time. actual time. the kind that makes you sit there and go, “wait, what do i do with this?”

at first, i didn’t know. i felt weird, honestly. after months—years—of go, go, go, sitting still felt… off. but now that i’ve had a bit of space, i’m starting to ease back into the things i used to enjoy. like writing. like this blog.

i’ve been feeling this quiet nudge to come back here. to write again. to reconnect with this version of myself i kinda forgot about. i miss this little space. this little corner of the internet that doesn't move a mile a minute, that doesn’t demand perfect lighting or bite-sized captions. just words. just thoughts. just me.

and today, i did something i haven’t done in a while—i went for a walk.

at first, i didn’t want to. i was scared, honestly. i had no one to go with, and that made me want to stay in. but then i stopped and asked myself: what exactly am I afraid of? and i realized… it was just the gaze of strangers. people i don’t even know. and people who, realistically, don’t care. so why was i holding myself back for them?

so i went. alone. i walked and ended up hitting 8,000 steps. it’s not a big number, and maybe it’s not even enough—but it’s a start. and today, that felt like a win. i passed by people jogging, running, strolling—different ages, different social statuses, different everything. and somewhere along the path, a stranger greeted me with a kind “good evening.” i was caught off guard so i just smiled, but it warmed my heart. funny how little things like that can lift you up.

anyway, i’m happy i’m back in this quiet little space.

if you've been here a while, you already know the drill—my posts tend to come in waves. long gaps. sporadic updates. the occasional “hi, I’m back” energy. it's not that i don't want to write. it's just... life. life happens. and sometimes, it pulls you so far from yourself that even logging into your blog feels like a task. but somehow, i keep finding my way back here.

i’m not promising anything big. no full-on content calendar, no deep life updates (not yet, anyway). just me, showing up again—little by little.

to be honest, i’ve always had a love-hate thing with putting myself out there. i like sharing the good stuff, the aesthetic stuff. but i also enjoy keeping people guessing. there’s something fun about being half-open, half-mystery. i love posting pretty moments, but i also love disappearing. i love being seen, but i really love being unknown. i don’t know if that makes sense, but if you’ve ever felt the same—hi, you’re not alone.

so again and again, here i am, crawling back to my blog, one post at a time. no pressure. no full-blown comeback plan. just me, trying to figure things out again, slowly.

i still don’t know who reads blogs in 2025, but if you’re here—thank you. whether you’re a regular, someone who stumbled in by accident, or just lurking (we love a quiet reader), i’m happy you made it to the end of this ramble.

let’s romanticize the restart. 🤍

——

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hey, dear reader! life has been pretty great recently, but i still have my fair share of "ayoko na" moments, so allow me to share some bits & pieces of how life has been lately. you don't know how much willpower it took me to finally sit down and intentionally start a draft for this post.

it's always the hardest to start, they say, and i strongly agree, because it took me a short while before i am able to start typing down on here again. it took me a hot minute to gather my thoughts and organize them. they've been all over the place i must say. my line of thinking has been so tangled that the act of turning my thoughts into comprehensible paragraphs has been a little bit challenging. however, scratch that, because as i always say, i'd like to update this little corner once in a while for my future self to visit and look back on.

i remember those college days when i would religiously upload weekly life lately posts. i would take the time to gather all the moments that i've captured during those weeks, edit them to make them look decent before uploading them in the blog, and write something down for each photo to relive those moments through words. ahhhh, i surely miss that kind of energy. where did all those creativity and energy go? i can no longer find them these days. anyway, i would still read through those past blog entries every once a while and they remind me so much of those simple and humble days. a lot has changed already.

i know i sound like a broken record when i say this, but can you believe how time flies real fast these days? it's the 30th of august today and it's already september in less than 2 days. december is coming in a blink, then it would be another year, then i will turn 29 in early january. oh nauuuuuur. so close to 30 already!

but anyway, i think this would be a great time to run through and think about how life has been for me lately.

well, this month was emotionally challenging for me. i'm just glad that i'm feeling better now because in the early weeks of august, i felt like i was losing hope already - not that i would give up, but i felt like i'd be stuck in this unpleasant feeling forever. it felt chaotic and i thought that would be it for the rest of my life. i was trapped in some negative thinking, but i'm glad that i'm over those now. i feel better and i'm pretty much optimistic again.

also, august has been good, but it was not eventful for me. well, overall, this year has not been eventful  so far. i have been occupied with so much work that my life has been pretty much just revolving around my daily grind. it was not that healthy, i must say, because i have not experienced as much burnout as i had this year. of course, i wasn't happy about it, but this is just me trying to survive my breadwinner life and this crazy economy.

here's something i wrote in august 19 to express how i've been constantly feeling towards work lately. thankfully, it's getting better recently.

work has been a little too stressful, yep, and i actually dropped a ball due to the amount of workload and it disappointed a client at some point, but i'm glad that the bosses have been understanding and patient with me. they didn't blame me for that, rather they understood that, that's just how it is now. with the increasing number of clients and amount of workload, i just can't be "perfect" as i used to anymore. lol. not that they see me as "perfect" but that's how i tried to be for so many years when it comes to work, except that you can't really expect me to come early at work - that's what i have been trying to work on and it frustrates me every time. lol. however, that would be a story for another time. 

also, this month i got sick prolly due to stress, and when my body is sick, that's when usually all the negative feeling come rushing into my system, which, i think, explains why august has been emotionally challenging for me.

and because i was desperately thinking how to be on top of my workload again, i took some time to re-read getting things done by david allen. "almost everyone i encounter these days feels he or she has too much to handle and not enough time to get it all done," he said, and i must say i am pretty much part of that "everyone," that's why i picked his book up again, and somehow i found comfort.

also, here's a conversation that i have with a friend recently and it shows how adulting feels. some of them is in Hiligaynon, but the gist of it is... i was pretty much wondering what it would feel like to not be responsible because pretty much all the stress that i have been feeling comes from all my responsibillities both at work and in my family. but that's just me wondering. of course, i can't afford to not be responsible. lol.

despite the crazy emotions that i have been feeling, august wasn't bad after all. there was actually one saturday when i went out with my sibs and that was my most favorite memory from this month.

as i was craving for some korean bbq, we decided to have samgyup for lunch at that time. it happened that there was a newly opened samgyup restaurant in town, so we decided to try it.

the place is nice. however, we weren't satisfied of the food and i don't think it's something i will go back to again. unfortunately, it did not satisfy my craving, but it's all good because the moment spent with the people dearest to me is more important than the food. 😄

after lunch, we went to sm and played at an amusement facility with my nephew. i can see how much he enjoyed that time and i wouldn't trade it for anything.

after that, we headed to the beach for a foodtrip session and to watch the sunset. look at how beautiful the place is now. it wasn't always like that. i mean, it has always been beautiful, but the current administration took effort to make it cleaner and better, and i'm glad because this place has always been my go-to every time.

——

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spontaneously writing on here again like i used to. i don't have anything specific in mind to share about—i just missed typing down here to ramble about life and anything in between.

funny that at the beginning of the year, i actually thought i would have more time to blog this year. i was hopeful, but life happens as it always does. so now i no longer mind if i could still get to update this blog or not. i just want to go with the flow and blog whenever i feel like it.

hmm... when i was younger, i would wonder why adults always seemed to be in a hurry and grumpy and were short-tempered even to little inconveniences. now, i understand  because at some point, i am that "adult" already. with responsibilities left and right, it feels like the days are getting shorter and shorter—an hour seems like just a minute now. with lots of things to do, i always feel like i needed to move faster than i used to. a long morning routine now became a morning rush. and even an 8-hr sleep seemed to be a luxury aleady. and i'm tired. constantly. plus this summer heat is becoming unbearable, and the last thing i would want is to be inconvenienced. dang, girl. i used to be so patient. now, idk what happened. lol.

i don't think i can live my whole life this way, though. i don't want a life lived in a rush. i don't want to always be in a hurry. i want to take things slow. i want to live simply, slowly and mindfully. i don't want to always be rushing to get the next big thing, but i honestly feel like doing a lot and living in a rush are the means to survive these days. but actually, they're not. they shouldn't be. it's just that... i don't know.

now that i am actually typing these thoughts out of my head, i realized i really have to do something already. i have to get out of this rabbit hole sooner rather than later. otherwise, i'd be doomed.

and i no longer know what else to say. my thoughts are all over the place and my mind is in chaos, so here's a sunday currently to somehow save this blogpost from all the mess.

READING

i am currently not reading anything recently, but i plan to start reading a new book this week - i'll keep this blog posted (hopefully lol)! =)

WRITING

i'm not writing anything either othen than this blog post. i have not written anything physically on my journal these days for quite a while now and it's probably the reason why life has been quite chaotic lately. journaling helps me big time most especially on overwhelming times like this, but i haven't been making time to sit down for it. gosh, my bad.

LISTENING

i'm listening to yeng constantino's songs on repeat right now. it reminds me of my highschool days soooo much when i can still mostly relate to her songs. also, she was here last night for capiztahan. i love to sing her songs in the karaoke, and of course i can't let that opportunity to see her perform live pass by. i went to see the event with my cousins and aunt. she's a performer indeed and i would want to see her again next time that i get the chance to on a much better and closer view.

THINKING

honestly thinking how i can survive this life. at this point, all i can say is, i'm tired and i badly wanna get out of this fast-paced life so bad.

HOPING

really hoping that i could be able to manage my time well this time. gradually. one step at a time.

NEEDING

i'm in need to master the art of time management really bad. i won't expand any further, but please, if you have some tips and tricks to share, i'd appreciate it so, so much! or maybe share your own struggle with it to at least let me know that i am not the only one? haha!

FEELING

obviously, i'm feeling messy and chaotic. i can't keep up with household chores. i can't keep up with my laundry. you see? this life is one huge mess these days. i just can't. i can't live in this chaos.

huh, i'm just glad that i am able to let these all out.

on another note, when i was younger,  all i wanted was to have a job and work until idk when. i wasn't really that interested to learn things about running a business and actually thought i wasn't born to be a business person.  now, my interests have changed. pretty recently, i have been really fascinated to learn how businesses work. anything that i like or need, i always think of selling the same to others 😁 recently, i enjoy learning how to utilize social media to sell products. i try to build facebook pages from scratch, creating logos and whatnot. it's been fun!

i thought i'll just do accounting my whole life, but i find it interesting now to try things that are out of my comfort zone. also, i guess my accounting knowledge definitely gives me a good advantage in running a business, so i gotta put it into good use, right?

this new venture that i am taking is actually one of the biggest reasons why i'm pretty much living in a rush these days + breadwinner duties. it's been tough, i must say. and to add, i have been taking a managerial role at work more seriously now. so yeah, that's pretty much a bit of an update about my chaotic life as of the moment.

hope life's been treating you well! :)

——

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i remember as a child, i would always wait for this time of the year to come. way back, it actually feels like waiting for one year round, but these days, it seems that christmas just comes in just a blink each time. idk if it's the world or just us growing up, but time flies very swiftly.

...and just like that, it's christmas once again.

this Christmas was just like any prior Christmas that was celebrated with the whole family. we attended the Christmas Eve mass on Christmas Eve (of course), then we stayed up so late until 3am just chitchatting about the most random things, then woke up late the next day (as expected).

the rest of the morning was spent preparing food for the whole family. we don't usually have our noche buena and our Christmas menus are usually prepared right on Christmas day because that's when everyone in the family would usually come over. i have always spent my Christmas with the family my whole life so far. it's a family tradition that has existed ever since i can remember. i don't know how it started, but as per my mama, it's something my grandparents have built for the family. i don't think they grew up with this family tradition, but they tried their best to make Christmas a special occasion for all of us and it is something that each one looks forward to every time. i'm so thankful for them, as well as my parents, because they have always made Christmas my favorite season ever since.

the afternoon was spent singing on the karaoke, and eating, and singing, and eating once again. christmas will never be complete without a karaoke session with the family.

on the evening, we had our exchanged gifts. there were separate gifts intended for our manito or  monita, then everyone was free to put their gifts to anyone or everyone under the Christmas tree, then my eldest tita would distribute them to whoever. basically, we get the chance to share our blessings with everyone. anyone who has the means to give can give gifts to whoever or to everyone. nobody is obliged, but it has been a tradition that we've grown up to. when i was younger, my grandparents, my parents, aunts, and uncles would give gifts to all of us kids. they still do up to this day. and now that we're grown-ups already, we also got used to preparing gifts for everyone. that's why a Christmas sinking fund is very important. i didn't have one this year, and danggg, it was pretty challenging. i promise to make it a priority in 2024 going forward.

to wrap it up, this year's Christmas was simple yet wonderful. i didn't have much expectations on it. being reunited with the whole family on Christmas day was more than enough to be thankful already. i'm so thankful for the bond that has been built among us. Christmas always reminds me of how blessed i am with my family. i didn't get to choose it, but God gave me the best. i'm grateful for the Christmas tradition that my grandparents have started—to gather everyone during Christmas and to share each one's blessings. it is something that i hope i can continue with my future offspring and even make it better.

how did you spend your christmas day? what are you most thankful for this christmas? i would love to know your story! <3

p.s. i am in the process of putting together a video blog of my christmas day. will upload it here once that is done. trying to get back into this hobby once again. :)

——

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this is me and my younger sister. we are two (almost three) years apart, but our relationship as sisters is not similar to being besties. i feel like more of a mother to her rather than a friend, and i think she would agree. i would give her advices and tell her the lessons i'm learning from life that she may use as she traverse thru her journey, and i would scold her like a mom would when she gets home late from going out with her friends. we like different things and our values may not always align, so maybe that's why we don't bond as much as bestfriends would.

today i sent her off towards her new journey. she just left out of town to find better opportunities career-wise. we have lived together in our family home since forever, fighting even in the pettiest of things, and now that she has left, i'm feeling a bit emotional. i am more than happy and proud that she is brave enough to leave home and chase her dreams, but i also feel a bit sad because i won't be seeing her now as often as i do before. the house would somehow feel emptier.

perhaps today is the day when i finally understood what it  actually means to be the eldest sister. similar to what parents are, i also get protective of my younger siblings. if i am to be selfish, i would rather have them here close to me so i can always see and make sure that they are safe, and protect them whenever needed. however, that could hinder their growth and could deprive them of better opportunities, so even if it makes me sad and a bit worried, i fully support her leaving our hometown to pursue whatever she wants in life.

i'm pretty sure life away from home will never be easy and it would be uncomfortable, and so i pray her lots of stregth to conquer the challenges that may come her way. i genuinely pray her all the best in life, and even if i don't often show it, i got her back... always and forever and no matter what.

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