august ain't that bad after all ོ༘₊⁺☀︎₊⁺⋆.˚

hey, dear reader! life has been pretty great recently, but i still have my fair share of "ayoko na" moments, so allow me to share some bits & pieces of how life has been lately. you don't know how much willpower it took me to finally sit down and intentionally start a draft for this post.

it's always the hardest to start, they say, and i strongly agree, because it took me a short while before i am able to start typing down on here again. it took me a hot minute to gather my thoughts and organize them. they've been all over the place i must say. my line of thinking has been so tangled that the act of turning my thoughts into comprehensible paragraphs has been a little bit challenging. however, scratch that, because as i always say, i'd like to update this little corner once in a while for my future self to visit and look back on.

i remember those college days when i would religiously upload weekly life lately posts. i would take the time to gather all the moments that i've captured during those weeks, edit them to make them look decent before uploading them in the blog, and write something down for each photo to relive those moments through words. ahhhh, i surely miss that kind of energy. where did all those creativity and energy go? i can no longer find them these days. anyway, i would still read through those past blog entries every once a while and they remind me so much of those simple and humble days. a lot has changed already.

i know i sound like a broken record when i say this, but can you believe how time flies real fast these days? it's the 30th of august today and it's already september in less than 2 days. december is coming in a blink, then it would be another year, then i will turn 29 in early january. oh nauuuuuur. so close to 30 already!

but anyway, i think this would be a great time to run through and think about how life has been for me lately.

well, this month was emotionally challenging for me. i'm just glad that i'm feeling better now because in the early weeks of august, i felt like i was losing hope already - not that i would give up, but i felt like i'd be stuck in this unpleasant feeling forever. it felt chaotic and i thought that would be it for the rest of my life. i was trapped in some negative thinking, but i'm glad that i'm over those now. i feel better and i'm pretty much optimistic again.

also, august has been good, but it was not eventful for me. well, overall, this year has not been eventful  so far. i have been occupied with so much work that my life has been pretty much just revolving around my daily grind. it was not that healthy, i must say, because i have not experienced as much burnout as i had this year. of course, i wasn't happy about it, but this is just me trying to survive my breadwinner life and this crazy economy.

here's something i wrote in august 19 to express how i've been constantly feeling towards work lately. thankfully, it's getting better recently.

work has been a little too stressful, yep, and i actually dropped a ball due to the amount of workload and it disappointed a client at some point, but i'm glad that the bosses have been understanding and patient with me. they didn't blame me for that, rather they understood that, that's just how it is now. with the increasing number of clients and amount of workload, i just can't be "perfect" as i used to anymore. lol. not that they see me as "perfect" but that's how i tried to be for so many years when it comes to work, except that you can't really expect me to come early at work - that's what i have been trying to work on and it frustrates me every time. lol. however, that would be a story for another time. 

also, this month i got sick prolly due to stress, and when my body is sick, that's when usually all the negative feeling come rushing into my system, which, i think, explains why august has been emotionally challenging for me.

and because i was desperately thinking how to be on top of my workload again, i took some time to re-read getting things done by david allen. "almost everyone i encounter these days feels he or she has too much to handle and not enough time to get it all done," he said, and i must say i am pretty much part of that "everyone," that's why i picked his book up again, and somehow i found comfort.

also, here's a conversation that i have with a friend recently and it shows how adulting feels. some of them is in hiligaynon, but the gist of it is... i was pretty much wondering what it would feel like to not be responsible because pretty much all the stress that i have been feeling comes from all my responsibillities both at work and in my family. but that's just me wondering. of course, i can't afford to not be responsible. lol.

despite the crazy emotions that i have been feeling, august wasn't bad after all. there was actually one saturday when i went out with my sibs and w for the first time in a while. that was my most favorite memory from this month.

as i was craving for some korean bbq, we decided to have samgyup for lunch at that time. it happened that there was a newly opened samgyup restaurant in town, so we decided to try it.

the place is nice. however, we weren't satisfied of the food and i don't think it's something i will go back to again. unfortunately, it did not satisfy my craving, but it's all good because the moment spent with the people dearest to me is more important than the food. 😄

after lunch, we went to SM and played at an amusement facility with my nephew. i can see how much he enjoyed that time and i wouldn't trade it for anything.

after that, we headed to the beach for a foodtrip session and to watch the sunset. look at how beautiful the place is now. it wasn't always like that. i mean, it has always been beautiful, but the current administration took effort to make it cleaner and better, and i'm glad because this place has always been my go-to every time.

i actually wanted to try those cute little cars with my nephew, but it was too hot at that time yet. so we decided to look for some food to much and have a little picnic beside the beach. however, it looks like we bought a little too much and it would be inconvenient for us to bring the foods that we bought beside the beach so we opted to just get a table and eat there instead.

after our merienda, we waited for the ever beautiful sunset. then, after a little while, we decided to take off our footwears and walked on the sand right beside the beach. we joined our nephew as he played and swam - he was very happy.

it was very therapeutic and i would definitely arrange something like that again regularly now. life can test me at times, but i appreciate these small but certain happiness. they mean a lot to me.

to wrap that day up, here's some video clips that i compiled from that one beautiful saturday. ೀ✨🌅.𖥔 ݁ ˖༄

and finally i am on a social media break once again. i deactivated my facebook including messenger without saying anything to anyone. my instagram account is still active but i am currently not opening it. yep, i am here again with my love/hate relationship with social media, and i'm feeling a whole lot better since i deactivated so i don't think i'm going back any time sooner. i actually feel a bit anxious to go back. idk, it's weird. all i know is, going back to it makes me anxious, so maybe it's safe to say that it's not doing me any good. let's see where this will take me. :)

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