hi, i found myself getting active on here again. this always happens every time i decide to get myself off of facebook, ig, and twitter. getting off of these platforms is always the best thing to do for me. i found myself happier and doing more in life. recently been getting up early and logging into work earlier than i usually do too. and i'm feeling at ease and chill these days which makes me romanticize life more.

also, idk if anyone out there can relate, but i feel like i am in this phase in my life where i don't wanna be seen anymore at all. i mean, i'm just here living my life and i don't want people to know how i am and what i'm doing. they wonder if they wonder—that's just it.

and i find instant messaging really exhausting.  when i'm on it, i feel like people can just break into my life anytime they want to. so with that, i stopped connecting with anyone other than the people closest to my heart. i still have my messenger active, though and i sometimes accidentally read messages, but i don't respond. "accidentally" because i don't usually intend to open them, but i sometimes happen to click on them by chance. and overtime, people just got used to me leaving them on read most of the time. they already know i don't usually respond and i feel like i have made it become a part of my personality now. lol. it actually made life easier because i no longer feel guilty whenever i leave a text on read nor do i feel pressured to respond. now i really don't mind responding to messages when i don't find them important. sometimes, however, i actually wonder if i'm doing this right. while it's good because i have set some boundaries and it is protecting my peace, on the flip side, i wonder if i am isolating myself quite too much? career-wise, would this cost me something? how do i even find the balance? 😅

on another note, i took these photos last year, and they seem perfect for the thoughts that i have just shared. that cottage is kinda the metaphor of the life that i want at the moment. haha!

anyway, hope y'all are having a lovely week!

11th of june—i love sundays at home. 🥺💗 

idk but i’ve been having some hard time gathering my thoughts lately. i no longer write the way i used too. i took some hiatus from blogging and i stopped journaling as well, so my creative juices are now nowhere to be found. my brain cells are at their most chaotic state, too. sometimes, i just can’t help but say, “i miss my old self.” yep, i definitely do — i miss it, yes, but if you ask me if i would trade my present self for the old one, my answer would be an immediate no. of course, i never would. despite the fact that i could no longer do a lot of things as often as i used to before due to the shift in priorities, i would never trade it for the growth that i have gone through and the lessons that i’ve learned so far.

idk what else to say. if you ask me how i am, well, i can say i’m good. i actually feel better than the past year. last year was eventful—i feel like i’ve gone out a lot, but this year is the opposite for me. 2023 is, i guess, a year of solitude and focusing more on the things that actually matter. i’m now heavy on providing myself a comfortable life, so even if focusing more on the things that actually matter would mean disappearing from the world for a while, i’m up for it. i actually deactivated my socmeds recently and it’s been doing me good. 👌🏽

also, ya gurl is gaining a bit of weight. i actually thought i’d be the skinniest friend my whole life, but i don’t think i am anymore 😅

let's talk!

hope your days are well! <3