i'm not sure if i still know how to blog, but surely, i miss this thing. i've been contemplating what to write on here. i've also been weighing things out -- should i continue blogging or should i stop for good? this has actually been some lingering thought lately.
i've been coming to a point where i don't want to share too much about my life online anymore, thus the thought of leaving the blogging world for good. however, every time i get to revisit my blog and reread the things i have written, i get this pleasant feeling of reminiscence. it's pleasurable to walk down the memory lane, and imagining my future self, i'd still want to get this same feeling when i get to visit this blog 10, 20, 30 years from now. so when half of me has already kinda given up this passion of mine at some point, the other half is still holding on and wants to make moooooore memories with this blog still. thus, i'm torn.
and that's why i needed to go back to my "why" again. uhmm. why did i even start blogging eight years ago? the answer will always be simple -- to document my life. so what makes me want to stop now? maybe the thought of other people reading my blog, especially those people i know in real life? why? what's the matter when people get to read my blog? uhmm... maybe because i don't want to give people an access to my life at all anymore and i'm afraid that when they get to read my blog, they'll have the impression that they already have access to my life when, really, they don't? but would that even matter? well, thinking about it now, i think not? i mean, people will always have impressions of me. even me, i have impressions of other people and other people's lives, but that does not necessarily mean that those impressions are right. i can never control what other people think. i can only control what i do and what i put into this blog. and why would i even be afraid of doing the thing that i love doing just because of the thought of other people? if i continue blogging, would they even care? if i stop would they still care? hmmm... actually no? i don't think they care about me and my life the way i thought. they have their own lives to care about and have enough worries of their own.
so what's the plan now? should i continue or should i stop? oh, of course, i will continue blogging. this blogging thing has been with me for more than eight years now, and actually nobody really cared so much about it. and when my friends actually get to visit my site, they would always tell me how proud they are of me and of the growth that i had over the years. so thinking about it now, i don't think i have any valid reason to stop blogging. everything is just all in my head. it's actually just self-sabotage.
so c'mon! let's go on. let's blog as long as we can and as long as this world could allow.
and to everyone who's still here at this point, thank you for being with me on here. i'm glad i have written this blog post and i am able to spontaneously ponder upon this dilemma a little deeper. i'm happy i finally get to decide! when i started typing this down, i was really still in torn and had no idea what to write about. this was actually supposed to be some kind of a "life lately" post. i already had it in the title, but to my surprise i ended up pondering upon my blogging dilemma. thus, changing up this post's title. lol. but i'm so delighted i'm ending this with a made-up mind already. yay. the power of writing my thoughts down! it's something that i can never trade for anything else.
how have you all been doing? by any chance, have you had some similar conundrum lately? i'd love to know your thoughts!
happy wednesday everyone!
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