i remember as a child, i would always wait for this time of the year to come. way back, it actually feels like waiting for one year round, but these days, it seems that christmas just comes in just a blink each time. idk if it's the world or just us growing up, but time flies very swiftly.

...and just like that, it's christmas once again.

this Christmas was just like any prior Christmas that was celebrated with the whole family. we attended the Christmas Eve mass on Christmas Eve (of course), then we stayed up so late until 3am just chitchatting about the most random things, then woke up late the next day (as expected).

the rest of the morning was spent preparing food for the whole family. we don't usually have our noche buena and our Christmas menus are usually prepared right on Christmas day because that's when everyone in the family would usually come over. i have always spent my Christmas with the family my whole life so far. it's a family tradition that has existed ever since i can remember. i don't know how it started, but as per my mama, it's something my grandparents have built for the family. i don't think they grew up with this family tradition, but they tried their best to make Christmas a special occasion for all of us and it is something that each one looks forward to every time. i'm so thankful for them, as well as my parents, because they have always made Christmas my favorite season ever since.

the afternoon was spent singing on the karaoke, and eating, and singing, and eating once again. christmas will never be complete without a karaoke session with the family.

on the evening, we had our exchanged gifts. there were separate gifts intended for our manito or  monita, then everyone was free to put their gifts to anyone or everyone under the Christmas tree, then my eldest tita would distribute them to whoever. basically, we get the chance to share our blessings with everyone. anyone who has the means to give can give gifts to whoever or to everyone. nobody is obliged, but it has been a tradition that we've grown up to. when i was younger, my grandparents, my parents, aunts, and uncles would give gifts to all of us kids. they still do up to this day. and now that we're grown-ups already, we also got used to preparing gifts for everyone. that's why a Christmas sinking fund is very important. i didn't have one this year, and danggg, it was pretty challenging. i promise to make it a priority in 2024 going forward.

to wrap it up, this year's Christmas was simple yet wonderful. i didn't have much expectations on it. being reunited with the whole family on Christmas day was more than enough to be thankful already. i'm so thankful for the bond that has been built among us. Christmas always reminds me of how blessed i am with my family. i didn't get to choose it, but God gave me the best. i'm grateful for the Christmas tradition that my grandparents have started—to gather everyone during Christmas and to share each one's blessings. it is something that i hope i can continue with my future offspring and even make it better.

how did you spend your christmas day? what are you most thankful for this christmas? i would love to know your story! <3

p.s. i am in the process of putting together a video blog of my christmas day. will upload it here once that is done. trying to get back into this hobby once again. :)

twitter ✧ instagram ✧ youtube ✧ tiktok

this is me and my younger sister. we are two (almost three) years apart, but our relationship as sisters is not similar to being besties. i feel like more of a mother to her rather than a friend, and i think she would agree. i would give her advices and tell her the lessons i'm learning from life that she may use as she traverse thru her journey, and i would scold her like a mom would when she gets home late from going out with her friends. we like different things and our values may not always align, so maybe that's why we don't bond as much as bestfriends would.

today i sent her off towards her new journey. she just left out of town to find better opportunities career-wise. we have lived together in our family home since forever, fighting even in the pettiest of things, and now that she has left, i'm feeling a bit emotional. i am more than happy and proud that she is brave enough to leave home and chase her dreams, but i also feel a bit sad because i won't be seeing her now as often as i do before. the house would somehow feel emptier.

perhaps today is the day when i finally understood what it  actually means to be the eldest sister. similar to what parents are, i also get protective of my younger siblings. if i am to be selfish, i would rather have them here close to me so i can always see and make sure that they are safe, and protect them whenever needed. however, that could hinder their growth and could deprive them of better opportunities, so even if it makes me sad and a bit worried, i fully support her leaving our hometown to pursue whatever she wants in life.

i'm pretty sure life away from home will never be easy and it would be uncomfortable, and so i pray her lots of stregth to conquer the challenges that may come her way. i genuinely pray her all the best in life, and even if i don't often show it, i got her back... always and forever and no matter what.

hi, i found myself getting active on here again. this always happens every time i decide to get myself off of facebook, ig, and twitter. getting off of these platforms is always the best thing to do for me. i found myself happier and doing more in life. recently been getting up early and logging into work earlier than i usually do too. and i'm feeling at ease and chill these days which makes me romanticize life more.

also, idk if anyone out there can relate, but i feel like i am in this phase in my life where i don't wanna be seen anymore at all. i mean, i'm just here living my life and i don't want people to know how i am and what i'm doing. they wonder if they wonder—that's just it.

and i find instant messaging really exhausting.  when i'm on it, i feel like people can just break into my life anytime they want to. so with that, i stopped connecting with anyone other than the people closest to my heart. i still have my messenger active, though and i sometimes accidentally read messages, but i don't respond. "accidentally" because i don't usually intend to open them, but i sometimes happen to click on them by chance. and overtime, people just got used to me leaving them on read most of the time. they already know i don't usually respond and i feel like i have made it become a part of my personality now. lol. it actually made life easier because i no longer feel guilty whenever i leave a text on read nor do i feel pressured to respond. now i really don't mind responding to messages when i don't find them important. sometimes, however, i actually wonder if i'm doing this right. while it's good because i have set some boundaries and it is protecting my peace, on the flip side, i wonder if i am isolating myself quite too much? career-wise, would this cost me something? how do i even find the balance? 😅

on another note, i took these photos last year, and they seem perfect for the thoughts that i have just shared. that cottage is kinda the metaphor of the life that i want at the moment. haha!

anyway, hope y'all are having a lovely week!

11th of june—i love sundays at home. 🥺💗 

idk but i’ve been having some hard time gathering my thoughts lately. i no longer write the way i used too. i took some hiatus from blogging and i stopped journaling as well, so my creative juices are now nowhere to be found. my brain cells are at their most chaotic state, too. sometimes, i just can’t help but say, “i miss my old self.” yep, i definitely do — i miss it, yes, but if you ask me if i would trade my present self for the old one, my answer would be an immediate no. of course, i never would. despite the fact that i could no longer do a lot of things as often as i used to before due to the shift in priorities, i would never trade it for the growth that i have gone through and the lessons that i’ve learned so far.

idk what else to say. if you ask me how i am, well, i can say i’m good. i actually feel better than the past year. last year was eventful—i feel like i’ve gone out a lot, but this year is the opposite for me. 2023 is, i guess, a year of solitude and focusing more on the things that actually matter. i’m now heavy on providing myself a comfortable life, so even if focusing more on the things that actually matter would mean disappearing from the world for a while, i’m up for it. i actually deactivated my socmeds recently and it’s been doing me good. 👌🏽

also, ya gurl is gaining a bit of weight. i actually thought i’d be the skinniest friend my whole life, but i don’t think i am anymore 😅

let's talk!

hope your days are well! <3

i actually don't know how to start this blog post other than stating my constant attempt to be active on here again which has not happened yet for so long already. life happens, as they always say, and indeed it does, but trust me, my yearning to write something on here did not cease. the entire time, i've been wanting to blog again as much as i used to, however, i was finding it difficult to block some time off to sit down with my thoughts and type them away for the blog. maybe this is just how it is. years pass, we grow, and our priorities change. it's never the same anymore. nevertheless, i'm grateful. adulting can be pretty demanding, yes, but i have been enjoying this phase of my life by far.

i'm 27 now, would you believe? i am actually not yet convinced that i am at this age already, but this is a fact and i could not anymore do away with it. haha! as Taylor Bickett's song goes... "i swear sixteen was yesterday, but now i’m closer to 28." 🎶 this line rings so much. i could not resonate more perfectly with it other than at this time of my life. indeed 16 feels like yesterday, and now i am here. i am having mixed emotions about the fact that i am now in my late twenties. whoa! the next thing i know, i might be married already. haha!

anyway, i’ll grab this time to share some photos from my birthday weekend last january. i am not really a huge celebrant of birthdays. i don’t even like parties and big celebrations because they exhaust me. i would usually just treat my birthdays as ordinary days except that the gratitude in my heart is overflowing more than any other days in my life - i am truly grateful that i am given the wonderful chance to live this amazing life.

every year, i celebrate my birthday with my family at home. this year, however, since it was a weekend, i opted to spend it at the beach and called it a birthday weekend. 🥳 that was the first time that i celebrated my birthday away from home. i tagged my mom along because if there‘s only one person i would celebrate my birthdays with, it would always be her. then, there was my cousin who happened to be nearby at that time, so we invited her to go with us. 

we went to a resort in one of the nearby provinces. the timing was perfect because we almost had the place to ourselves. my birthday is a week after the new year, so people were probably still winding down from all the holiday celebrations -  perhaps the reason why there were barely no people in the place at that time. this was actually my second attempt to book with the resort. the first time i tried was back in summer last year for my mom’s birthday. however, it was fully booked so we went with another option.

the place was a real definition of tranquility. it was right beside the beach so i can hear the sound of the waves 24/7 and the gentle blow of the wind was nonstop. i’m not sure if it was like that there everyday or maybe it was just the january weather, but the place was breezy during our whole stay. also, the signal was scarce there, so i really had the time to be in the moment.

i’m happy that i did not only celebrate my birthday, but i also had some quality time with my mom - the woman who endured the pain to bring me into this world. her birth story was actually a bit challenging because i am her firstborn, i was premature, and a breech baby in one. they consider it a blessing that i am able to survive because they barely thought i would. i stayed in an incubator for a couple of weeks before they were able to take me home. this is why i consider life a huge blessing, and i’m immensely thankful for God’s presence in my life since day one.

even if i did not celebrate my birthday with the whole family this year (when i say “family” it’s with the extended family included), it still does not change the fact that i love them to bits and i’m so thankful for them. my family is not perfect for sure, but it is exactly the group of people that i perfectly need on this lifetime.

oh, i think i have blabbed too much already. i must have missed this hobby this much. lol. anyway, if you're still here at this point, hello, thanks for dropping by. i'm happy to see you here and i'm glad to be back here again. most of the blogs that i used to visit here are no longer active, i assume everyone has been pretty occupied accomplishing the mundane but necessary tasks of everyday life trying to be responsible adults. when blogging was still at its hype, we were all just students writing about our monotonous days in school, but here we are now, thriving adults who hardly have the time to hop back in to this hobby again. i'm so proud of where we all have come. there's still a long journey ahead but  we got this!

ending this blog post with a reel that i initially posted on facebook. i could not find my original file. thus, the low quality.

'til then!

been working on myself nonstop. i fail every so often, but that does not mean i should stop.

i've always been a morning person and i'm proud that my body can naturally wake up on time without the need of any alarm clock. (fun fact: i don't use alarm clocks in the morning except on the days when i have some important appointments that i should not miss) however, i have my way of ruining my natural rythm that i started getting up late in the morning, so recently, i've been trying to learn to get up early again, and one of the things that 's helping me do it is my commitment to do my morning walk. i find pleasure on walking and strolling around a few hours before i sit down on my desk and devote my day for work. it helps me stretch my muscles and breathe some fresh air. i made my mom my accountability partner for this, and i do this together with her, so it's also an opportunity for me to have some quality time with her. sucha win-win!

also, one of the things that makes me enjoy our morning walks are the kind "good mornings" from strangers who are also walking around—most of them are at my mom's age already. we don't know them at all, but every time we pass by each other, they never hesitate to give out an amiable smile and a friendly "good morning." it reminds me the importance of just simply sharing a smile to a stranger. it doesn't hurt and it doesn't cost a thing, anyway, so whenever we have the chance, let's share our smile. we'll never know who badly needs it.

@marizdlcruz good morning, friday! ⛅️#fyp #vlog #minivlog ♬ Here Comes the Sun - Relaxing Instrumental Music